5.30.2004

The Stage

One step closer, here I am
The curtain covers me
The world is dark
As far as I see
People clap, and they cheer
Nervously I step, step one by one
I smile for you, smile for them
I wish I turn and run
'Cause what no one knows
I know too well
When they see heaven
I see hell

On this stage, with the spotlight on me
I wanna die, wanna die here baby
Because you can't run, you cannot see
The only way out is pain for me

'Cause if you unveil the curtain
If you unveil to to see,
Your eyes won't believe
The lonely soul in me
'Cause if you step any close
If you dart your eyes
You will see, the same me
The very me that I despise

5.20.2004

Fall

Theres only so many times you can be pushed over the edge
Before you actually fall
Theres so many times you can trip over the ledge
Before you can't feel at all
There are only so many times you can scream
Before your voice becomes hoarse
Only so many nightmares can be a dream
Before you can no longer feel remorse

Only so many tears can be shed
Before someone has to leave
Only so many people can be dead
Before you can start to conceive
What the hell, the hell happened
It's my wound, the damn wound opened
It's unbelievable
Unconceivable
Before you start
Stop my heart
From bleeding

Where is God when children die?
Where is hope when people lie?
Can you think, tell me the answer
Please, don't die, die of cancer
Don't die, in a suicide bombing
Please survive, 'cause I'll be longing
For you, when the next disaster strikes
When my heart, when my heart spikes


There are only so many times you can run away
Before you realize
There are only so many cloudy days
Before the sun deceives your eyes
There are only, so many words that can be said
Before they go against you
There are only so many things inside your head
Before you just just crack, oh

Only so many tears can be shed
Before someone has to leave
Only so many people can be dead
Before you can start to conceive
What the hell, the hell happened
It's my wound, the damn wound opened
It's unbelievable
Unconceivable
Before you start
Stop my heart
From bleeding

Refrain

And it feels, yeah it feels like
A million knives
Cutting into your skin, oh
And when you can't breathe
'Cause you're so damn shocked
Oh, no one's gonna help you get through
You're falling, you're falling down
Rapidly you see and that's all you have
You can't see where you fell from,
And where the hell you're gonna land,
But you can't realise, what the hell is in my eyes, oh

Pre-chorus(x1) and refrain(x2)

5.14.2004

Craptacular

I just fell flat on my face
In front of half the school
I tripped over my own laces
Don't I feel so fucking cool
I get laughed at everyday
Feel like a walking freak show
I can't really run away
Go through stuff you cannot know
And I am better, better than you think
I am so cool, can you see link
Can you see the connection
You think I suck? Correction

I may be weirder than you
I may not be as attractive
But in the end, you'll see
You're the one who's
Deffective

And though you may hold the power
You may be so spectacular
I'm gonna make it far away
'Cause right now it's just
Craptacular

I walk down the hallway
I go anywheres
I'd do it my way
If I wasn't so scared
I'm scared you don't look
And I'm scared when you do
I sit and read a book
Try and get away from you
And I feel like an outcast
I feel like your prey
And I just cannot get past
That you do this every day

Yeah right now it's going your way
Right now it's all about you
But you see someday
I will be cool too
I will break all your expectations
I will break your little mould
And when I do
Yeah when I do
You won't be so popular
Anymore (Refrain)


5.13.2004

But A Small Child

Cry for me, Argentina
I have so gravely sinned
I want to break out
But I'm stuck from within
I am but a sinner
Filthy with disgrace
I am but a scar
On the human race
I try so damn hard
To fit the hell in
I can't break my habits
Can't save myself from sin
I am a saint
If the sun is the moon
I fear so much
I will not be here soon
And I think every night
If I'll still be there
Because in the end
I'm the only one who cares

So break me, break me
I am but a small child
See my innocence,
Tear my heart out
My screams are turning wild
As I turn to run away

Don't take me, take me
I am yet so small
I can't see at all
There's no way, I can make it
There's a tiny speck of light,
And yet it is so thin,
I just want to make my way in...

Love is such a scarce word
Heard only in whispers and affection
Yet I wish I could hear it more
And get the difficult connection
I tell my damn pillow
My feelings and my thoughts
I tell it how I'm feeling
I tell it how I'm not
Not afraid of the world now
Not afraid of what they say
I will be brave and courageous
The day after today
I am a saint
If the sun is the moon
I fear so much
I will not be here soon
And I think every night
If I'll still be there
Because in the end
I'm the only one who cares
(Refrain)

La de da, la de da,
Feel my pain, oh
La de da, la de da,
Feel it again, oh
I am falling down
Into my own
My own little place
Into my own
I'm all alone

...'Cause I am but a small child
I'm so innocent
I am not your emotional punching bag
DON'T TOUCH ME ANYMORE
(Refrain x2)